Excerpts from "How to Love a Child" / Janusz Korczak

Excerpts from "How to Love a Child" / Janusz Korczak

1) I would like to write a book about an urban boarding school, in which a hundred orphan children, boys and girls in the school age, are educated under the supervision of a team of educators, in a building of their own, and a small number of staff workers.

2) The book must be as short as possible, because I designate it first and foremost to the young companion, who is suddenly thrown into the whirlpool of the most difficult educational issues and the most complicated conditions of life - amazed and full of complaints he calls for help.
The poor thing has no time for studies. At night he was awakened twice: A child had a toothache, and began crying - he had to calm him down and take care of him. As he fell asleep again he was awakened by a second child: this child dreamed a horrible dream: dead, burglars, wanted to kill him, threw him to the river; well, again he calmed the child and put him to sleep.
A sleepy person cannot read thick books on education in the evenings, because the eyelids stick together, because if he does not sleep enough he will be angry and inpatient - and therefore he will not be able to actualize the redeeming principles of the intelligent book. I shall try to limit myself, so that not to deprive him of his night's sleep.

3) During the day the educator has not got the time for studying either - the moment he starts reading will be the moment the first child comes with a complaint: His neighbor pushed him as he was writing, and an ink spot was made - and now ho does not know if he should start all over, leave it, or tear the page. A second child is limping; he has a nail in his shoe and cannot walk. The third asks if he may take the dominos. The forth is asking for the key to the cupboard. The fifth is returning a handkerchief he found: "I found it; I don't know who it belongs to". The sixth asks him to keep four pennies he received from his aunt. The seventh comes running to take his handkerchief: "It's mine, I put it on the window and he took it right away".
There in the corner a small clumsy boy is playing with scissors: He will make a mess, hurt himself - who gave him the scissors? - In the center of the room there is a lively quarrel, soon it will become a fight – it needs to be prevented. The one who had a toothache at night is now running around like crazy, he will again push one of the writers or drop ink on the floor; and his tooth will probably hurt again at night.
The educator must be very motivated in order to overcome all this and read even a short book.

4) But he is not motivated, for he does not believe.
The writer will prove, with many quotes, that he is educated. He will repeat again what is known to everyone. The same modest wishes, innocent lies, advices that are impossible to perform. – The educator needs…. needs…. needs.
And at the end of the day, in all issues, small and large, he is bound to decide on his own, according to his knowledge and understanding, and most importantly – according to his ability.
This is good in theory, he comforts himself.
And the educator bears grudge for the writer, for the writer is sitting quietly in front of his comfortable desk dictating instructions, with no need to directly encounter the wild and noisy annoying and reckless gang, that causes anyone who does not want to oppress it to be enslaved to it, that every day a different member this gang poisons his life so thoroughly that the rest of them can barely make it any better.
For what reason is he annoyed by great dilemmas, very important missions, lofty ideals, while he is bound to be an employee, a Cinderella?

5) He feels the initial passion that he had for the job is being drained, regardless of anyone's preaching. – Before, the thought of organizing a game or performing a surprise amused him. He pled to bring a new and rejoicing gust of wind to the boarding school. Now he is hopelessly happy when everything "stays as it was"; if nobody vomited, broke a window, was given a harsh scolding – this means the day went by peacefully.
He is loosing his energy: watching small problems through his fingers, trying to see less, to know less – only the necessary.
He is loosing his initiative: In the past, when he had candy or a game to hand out – he immediately had a plan how to use it as well as he could. Now he will give the candy away fast: have them eat it quickly before any fights, complaints or objections begin. A new piece of furniture or object means- again there is need of watching or else they will brake, ruin. A plant on the window, a picture on the wall – so much to do, but he does not know, does not want or cannot, does not even notice anymore.
He loses faith in himself. Before every day that passed revealed a new thing in the children or in him. The children used to gather around him, now they turn away. Does he still love them? – He is rough, sometimes violent.
Is it possible that soon he will be just like those whom he wanted to serve example to, those whom he was revolted by for their distance, passiveness and lack of moral?

7) He does not understand what is happening around.
He tries to reduce the rules and limitations to a small number of the most necessary ones. He gives freedom to the children, and they are not satisfied, they demand more.
It seems that they love him, and he knows they mock him. They trust him – and still always hide something. Supposedly believe what he says and still looking to hear malicious whispers.
He doesn't understand, doesn't know – feels foreign and bitter – feels bad.
Dear educator, be content with what you have. Here you are leaving behind the sentimental prejudice about the child. Now you already know that you do not know. If it isn't as you thought, it is meant to be different. Without giving a report to yourself, you are already looking for another way. Are you lost? – remember that there is no shame in wandering lost in the great forest of life. Even when you are wrong look around curiously, and you will find a collage of spectacular pictures. Are you suffering? – The truth will be born in pain.

8) Be as you are. Look for your own path. Know yourself before you want to know the children. Give yourself an estimation of what you-yourself are capable of doing before you start setting limits to their rights and obligations. First and foremost, you yourself are a child, and you must start by knowing and educating yourself. Assuming that pedagogy is a science about children,and not about humans - this is on of the most annoying mistakes.
An aggressive child in an outburst beats – an adult in an outburst kills. A toy is deceivingly taken from a good child – a signature on a check is deceivingly taken from an adult. A careless child spends on candies the money he was given to by a notebook – a careless adult loses all his possessions in card games. There are no 'children' – there are only humans. Only their terms are different, different experiences, different urges and emotional games.- Remember, we do not know them. We are not mature!
Ask an old man, even in your forties and you will discover that you are not yet mature enough for him. Indeed, whole social classes are not mature, because they are weak. Whole nations who need foreign custody - are also not mature, because they do not have cannons.
Be who you are and observe the children well while they can still be who they are. Observe, don't demand, because you will not force an active and teasing child to be concentrated and quiet; An angry and suspicious child will not become revealed and open-hearted. An ambitious and stubborn child will not be easy and submitting.
And as for yourself?
If you were not blessed with an impressive appearance and a strong heart you will unsuccessfully try to hush them by shouting. If you have a good smile and a forgiving look – don't talk at all, perhaps they will calm down on their own? Look for your own way yourself.
Don't demand of yourself to be a serious and mature educator right away, with psychological and pedagogical diplomas in your brain and heart. You have a wonderful and magical ally – Youth, and you insist on being grumpy and experienced.